Meet Carter!!!

Here are a few pictures of Mr. Carter at 18 weeks. He is almost 22 weeks!!!

He is certainly all boy!!!



Little legs

 

 Still slightly alien like.



He has already stolen our hearts!!!

 

 

 

 

We will not be sharing our birth mother's name or location so in other blogs we may refer to her as baby mama. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. She has answered so many prayers. Please continue to pray for her and Carter. We hope he makes a safe arrival and all goes well!!!

Things you should never say to an Angel Parent

Miscarriage is an easier topic to ignore than to talk about for many people. It tooks a long time for me to personally talk about it myself. The problem with not talking about it is that the parents suffering from the loss of their angel baby(ies) often feel alone and unsupported. Which is understandable considering most of us have friends that haven't lost a child. But just saying I'm sorry is better than saying nothing at all. Most people do mean well even if they say things that they probably shouldn't, but it still doesn't mean it hurts any less. I've heard a few of these things myself and a few I found online or from other friends that have had things said to them and I wanted to share them with you all.

* "I know what you're going through." I think this one is the most common. I despise hearing this. If it is from someone else who has miscarried and actually does understand it adds more pain (my personal feelings). But some women find it comforting to hear that they aren't the only ones that have experienced this type of loss. Now hearing this coming from someone who hasn't been through this type of loss can be very hurtful and in my case, make you more angry.

* "You can always try again." While this is true, you don't get pregnant hoping you will have to try again because you miscarried. Although most women that do miscarry go on to have healthy pregnancies in the future. I personally still mourn all four of my angel babies.

* "Be grateful for the children you do have." I personally don't have any other children, but I imagine that even if I did it wouldn't hurt any less.

* "At least you weren't further along in the pregnancy." No matter how far along in your pregnancy you are still mourning the loss of your child. It may be harder on your body to miscarry later on in the pregnancy, but it still doesn't hurt any less emotionally.

* "It wasn't a real baby just a fetus." I personally haven't heard this one either, but I personally do consider a fetus a baby. For me as soon as I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test, there was a "real" baby growing inside of me.

* "At least you didn't know your baby." To me that was added pain. It hurt more knowing that I will never know my angel babies. I love all of them and have since the day I found out about them.

* " It's probably for the best" It takes everything I have not to tear into someone who says this. And yes I have personally heard this one. There are many different reasons women miscarry, some are unknownl. But who exactly was this loss the best for? Me? You? My angel baby? This is most certainly the WORST thing you could ever say to an angel parent!!!

* "It won't happen again." I took solace in this statement. After my first miscarriage my ob told me that most women miscarry at least once in their lives, whether they know it or not and that once my body healed I would most likely carry a healthy full term pregnancy. Most of you know that that is not the case with my husband and I. But thinking this after each miscarriage definitely made it harder after each angel I lost.

* "After so many miscarriages you should be used to it." I angrily typed that phrase. That is another one that I have personally gotten. I will only say this once. YOU NEVER GET USED TO LOSING YOUR CHILDREN!!!!! And in my opinion anyone that says this to your face has just given you permission to rearrange theirs!

* "Move on, it's not the end of the world." Grieving is a different process for every person. The timing isn't the same and neither are the emotions. It is very important to grieve.

* "There must have been something wrong with the baby." Just because the baby died, doesn't mean that there was something wrong with the baby. There are so many things that have to go a certain way to have a healthy pregnancy and carry a baby to full term.

* "It happened because..." Most women like myself find themselves blaming themselves for the loss of their baby, even if a cause is known, I always wondered what if I had done something different. No one knows why I lost my angels and to hear someone else tell me this is why you did is extremely hurtful.

Moral of the story: If you don't understand or know what you're talking about keep your mouth shut and just say "I'm sorry".

Sorry for the long post. I just realized that I hadn't written an in depth post about this. Some of these phrases still get to me like I lost my babies yesterday, but the pain has lessened in time. Thanks for reading. If you have lost an angel baby I'm more than happy to listen and share my experience with you if you like. I hope that everyone takes this post to heart.


Thank you to those that continue to pray for us. We hope to find our baby soon!!!!

I'm still here :)

For those that read my blog regularly. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. There still isn't much to update. We are still trying to adopt privately and hope that we find our baby girl soon! We thank you do much for keeping us in your prayers! And an even bigger thanks to those who continue to spread the word about us. It will lead us to our forever babies even faster!!! We appreciate all your kind words of encouragement and support!

Still Hoping to Adopt!

Sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I said I would. With planning two weddings and spending time with my baby sister I haven't had much time. We now have one wedding out of the way and I have a little more free time. Now for the update! I get asked all the time if we are still trying to adopt. The answer to that: a big fat YES!! Yes we get a little more discouraged everytime an adoption falls through but we still have hope!! We really appreciate everyone who is still spreading the word about us trying to adopt! Word of mouth is the most powerful way to get word out. We also love all the compliments we get on our window decal with our profile website!!! We hope to find our forever baby soon!!! We are still working on the nursery (pics coming soon) I'm not ready to unveil it until it's completely ready!! But we have decided to plan around a baby girl!! ( so yes I'm very excited!!!) We won't reveal her name until we have her in our arms though. (Sorry to disappoint!!) But we are still stockpiling on gender neutral clothes and diapers etc.  We will definitely be ready when she makes her appearance!!! I'm sorry there isn't much to update but please keep the prayers coming!!! We really appreciate them!!!! Thanks everyone!!!!

Lonely Silence

I know I said I wouldn't stay away so long, but I did have good reason. We recently had another failed adoption. Just typing those words almost brings me to tears. This was further into the process than any other adoption we have pursued so I think I can say this one hurt the most. I won't go into all of the details but long story short a mutual friend came to me about her friend's situation and said she was pregnant with twin girls due in a couple months. She let us choose the names etc and we got ready for two babies. Our world was perfect for a little while. She ended up going into premature labor and found out that baby b was born asleep she weighed 2lbs 6oz. Baby a was born heathy 6lbs 2oz. However we couldn't get to her so she said she would come to us when she was medically cleared to travel. (Should've been red flag number 1) We immediately called our lawyer and had him start on the paperwork. She was all set to travel when baby girl was 3 weeks old. We didn't want any pictures until after we met her. We were all set to bring home a one month old baby girl! (Carseat installed, diaper bag ready at the drop of a hat everything)The week before the scheduled court date, she arrived to where she was staying and said she wanted to meet us and let us meet baby girl. Long story short she found every excuse not to meet with us. When the day came to go to court she was nowhere to be found. And I had a friend telling me how beautiful our baby girl was and how she couldn't wait to see her with us. (big slap in the face when I had to tell her that we would never be bringing her home because the birthmom changed her mind) So here we are yet again ready for baby but with empty arms dealing with the lonely silence. I promised myself that last year would be the last year that I would spend my birthday childless, but it looks as though that may not happen. My birthday is in exactly 29 days. It really would take a miracle to make me "physically" a mommy by then. But hey, miracles happen everyday I guess. This adoption has hurt but I know I will heal. I've really noticed who my real friends are here lately. I know I've been in some pretty dark places and haven't been the most positive person to be around, but the real friends have stuck by me. As far as how my husband is handling things, he's always been the stronger one of us when it comes to emotions, and as much as he has always wanted a baby boy, I know this little girl had him wrapped around her finger from the moment we heard about her. I really think this adoption has hurt him very much as well. It has been so wonderful to have all of your support and kind words, even when the last thing I want is to be positive I look back on those words and really appreciate all the wonderful people I have been blessed with. Although I know it isn't my timing, I sure do wish we would find a baby soon!! I hope I have answered everyone's questions and I really do promise to try to keep everyone updated more often. Thank you for your kind words and continued prayers! I hope to have better news to update soon!!

About the Blogger: Random Facts

Through the pain we must find humor. Things are starting to get better so I wanted to share more random (and slightly humorous) facts! I realize a lot of my readers are also Facebook friends but even though you "know" me you don't really KNOW me. So I'm going to share!!!

1. I LOVE CHILDREN!! (Big Surprise!)
2. God and my family are most important in my life!
3. I am a Zebra-holic! You name it, it's zebra!
4. I love Rubber ducks! I have a bathroom dedicated to them!
5. I'm OBSESSED with chocolate!!!
6. I LOVE Naked! Specifically the mango naked!
7. I love my scentsy!
8. I'm very organized. I'm actually OCD about it!
9. I love SVU, KENDRA, Secret life, MIOB, Lizard Lick, Dance moms, and tons of other shows!
10. I was a Cheerleader for 4 years.
11. I own my own business!
12. I'm making majority of our children's clothing! Along with a lot of their nursery decor!(Don't worry I'm making another blog post dedicated to their nurseries)
13. I married my best friend almost 3 years ago.
14. I have a very large, supportive, group of friends!
15. My life is pretty much an open book. (which I despise sometimes, but it's for a good reason)
16. I am constantly making a list for something.
17. I love shopping!!
18. I dislike negativity.
19. I have two of the sweetest (sometimes) fur babies! For those who don't know Rae & Bentley, you're missing out!!
20. I love to swim!!!
21. I love board games!!!
22. I hate fixing my hair.
23. I love PINK (victoria's secret) sweatpants!
24. I love going black friday shopping but only at Walmart and only for movies!
25. I love candy!
26. I love to decorate!
27. I'm slightly addicted to Pinterest!
28. I'm a night owl.
29. Sometimes I talk too much.
30. I voice my opinion even if others don't like it.
31. I LOVE Dr. Pepper!!!
32. I dye my own hair. (with the exception of my highlights, my husband pulls my hair through the cap)
33. I have the sweetest husband EVER!!
34. I dislike roses, but I like the hybrid zebra roses. I LOVE daisies!
35. I don't know what I'd do without my iPhone!
36. I LOVE Matchbox 20
37. I watch Jenna Marbles every Wednesday and we are A LOT alike!
38. I love blue bunny fudgesicles!
39. I have not, nor will I ever "snatch" a baby. ( Long story, I get rude comments from time to time)
40. I hate running.
41. I love to watch cartoons!
42. I hate carpet.
43. I love chick flicks!
44. I'm a dog person. (obviously)
45. I Love Friday's!
46. I hate to fish, unless I'm fishing with the hubs.
47. I hate to do dishes and fold laundry. (but I always seem to be stuck doing them both lol)
48. I love to get massages!
49. I love my "mommy" car!
50. I wear glasses.

Wow! That took longer than I thought it would! lol There you have it, 50 random facts! I hope you enjoyed getting to know me!!! I promise to keep you all updated with the adoption process as soon as we know something! Thank you for the continued prayers!!! We love an appreciate you guys!!!

Rumors

I addressed this on my personal Facebook, but I wanted to go a little more in depth about this. I am somewhat of a homebody. I have maybe a handful of good close friends. That being said I have put a lot of my life out in the open. That is my choice of course. Like I said I do this in the hopes of helping someone else that's going through something similar and to help spread the word about our want to adopt. Back to the rumor issue. To set the record straight: I have only been pregnant 4 times and I have lost all 4 of our angel babies. I have NEVER lied about being pregnant or losing any our children. And as far as I know of you're either pregnant or not and I'm sorry but if you have a miscarriage you will know it! Its the worst pain physically and emotionally I have ever felt! I get so pissed when I see or hear of someone saying their pregnant and then a week down the road saying they miscarried just to cover their ass and get attention. It's not something I take lightly. There are also a few rumors that we are trying to solicite (sp?) other womens' children. WOW!!! That one was a low blow. How sorry of a person do you have to be to make up such a lie?? I could go to jail for doing that!!! We want a baby very much but I'm definitely not going around "snatchin' up babies". We pray everyday for a baby and hope to find him or her soon. I pray no woman has to endure the pain we have. As of now we have only had two failed adoptions and if you've read my blogs you know all about those situations and I won't go into the details if not don't be lazy look through my posts lol. I live my life almost as if it's an open book. I have no problems sharing parts of our lives. Sometimes I get a little emotional but what woman wouldn't? If someone ever has a question we have no problems answering them but please ask before you assume.  Thank you to all of you who continue to pray for us. Despite the drama we are very hopeful about the future and know that this will be the year that we add our first baby to our family!!!!!

New update

As many of you are aware, it's been awhile since I've posted or updated any thing on our journey. For that I'm sorry but don't get your panties in a wad (you will see why I'm trying to find a little humor soon enough) I am going to explain. Most recently my husband has been in the process of taking over a new company an becoming his own boss! (which I'm very proud of!) that has taken up so much of our time that my boutique business has been put on hold for awhile. We also learned of a possible adoption situation involving two baby girls due in June. We weren't really sure how things were going to play out so we didn't really get too involved until the birthmother really wanted to meet us. We were so excited that she wanted us to be the parents to not only one baby but TWO! Over about a months time we talked through a mutual friend and set up a meeting and doctors appointments. Well last week she stopped answering calls from everyone and completely slipped off the radar. That's when my heart broke all over again. I knew the worst but hoped for the best. It's been a week and a half since anyone has spoken to her and she has yet to tell us why she changed her mind. It's been a rough week and has really hit me hard that we've been working so hard to adopt for the past year and that after 3 years of trying to build a family we are still only a family of two. (sorry for the pity party) part of me wants to stop advertising our want to adopt but I know it won't help anything. It still kills me to tell others that this is our only option. I will never carry our biological children. But I know that one day we will have perfect children meant especially for us. I am going to try to be more frequent with the updates again to keep everyone in the loop. Thank you to all those who continue to pray for us we definitely need it.

The Kindness of Strangers

Sorry I've been MIA lately. With my boutique and my husband's new business we've barely had time to breathe! But I'm proud to say that in a couple of days we will both be proud business owners!!! I'm so proud of my husband!!! We have had such a busy week and not to mention a busy week ahead of us so I'm not sure when my next update will be but to update you right now I have been "nesting" like crazy for the past couple of weeks and I finally got a chance to do some shopping for future baby this weekend!! Needless to say I'm almost swimming in diapers and clothes! This baby is definitely loved!! I have a love/hate relationship with our future baby's stuff! Most days I love shopping for him/her but some days it's just a reminder of what's yet to be. But I am still very hopeful and everyday is a new day!!! Now onto what the title of this post is about. As most of you know I have a decal on the back of my car "advertising" our adoption profile. We live in a small town so not too many people see it but when we go shopping we drive by quite a few people. I've always wondered who actually takes the time out to check out our profile. Today I found out! Alix (whom I wasn't friends with on Facebook until just a couple hours ago) was behind us today and saw our decal and actually checked out our profile and posted that she did on her facebook! She is so sweet!!! Well a mutual friend of ours told me about the post and all the wonderful things that were said and we are now friends!! Although she is not our birthmother we are so grateful for wonderful people like her that spread the word about us like she has!!! We are so blessed to have so many people who care about us and willing to help us on our journey!!! So a big shout out to you Alix and thank you for being so sweet!!!! I have a feeling that we will find our future baby soon!!! I hope I am right!!! Thank you to all those who continue to spread the word about us and continue to pray for us! You really have no idea how much we appreciate you!!!!

Words of Encouragement

A friend of mine posted these and I thought that some of my friends might find comfort in these words. I know I did. (Warning: It's a pretty long post.) Some were changed to fit my situation.

 

Softly you crept into my heart
like footsteps upon a billowing cloud
Your arms of love wrapped around me,
You came with angel wings.
Those wings carried you into my womb,
Where you rested for only a brief moment,
like a whisper you were here
so small, yet so huge in my heart.
You belonged to God, only lent to my by Him,
your presence was a strong one, Yes,
... your ability to stay was weak.
God called you back to him, my angel lent to me
You left with angel's wings
Your smile now brightens up the Heavens
as seen by the stars at night
a twinkle in your eye, music in your voice
You rejoined God's Heavenly chorus
You are my miracle, my love, my heart, and my soul.
You not only became my child,
but my Guardian angel as well
A love shown by someone so small
yet given by someone so big
God gave me his littlest Angel
and I had to give you back to him.
I was once in the arms of an Angel for a time
and now ache for one in mine
My beautiful baby boy,
Dance in God's sunshine, sleep in God's arms,
Grow in God's love, and be happy...
An Angel given to me, yet taken Oh So Soon...
I thank you God for the lend of an Angel.

 

 

Will I know my babies when we meet again?
Will they have grown up, not be the infants that died in my arms?
Will I recognize them, be able to find them among so many others?
Or will they be a strangers to me, not knowing who I am,
or me knowing them?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
They never got their first teeth, or said their first words.
No first shoes, no Santa, no first birthday cake.
Will my babies still ...be babies when we meet again?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
Who sings them precious lullabies?
Who holds them close and kisses them everyday?
Who tells them constantly that they love them?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
When we next meet, will they know me?
Will they want to know me?
Will they be my children who died at one or two months, or an adult, fully grown?
Will I have the joy of being a mother to my children for all eternity?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
Will I be able to hold them, love them, sing lullabies to them?
Will I be able to hold their tiny hands, or will they be adult hands?
Will I ever have the joy that only holding my children can bring?
I need to know! In heaven, is my baby still a baby?

 

 

How do I say goodbye ... when I didn't get to say hello?
I want so bad to keep you ... how do I let you go?
I have so many dreams, so much love I want to share
There's nothing I can do ...why is life unfair?
You're my perfect angels...I dreamed you long ago
I never got to hold you but it breaks my heart to let you go
The pain and confusion I feel inside
I can not explain...I can not describe...
God will rock you in your cradle and watch you as you sleep
I will love you in my heart ... it's all I get to keep
you are blessed my children ... you're in heaven up above
You'll never be alone...you have Mommy & Daddy's love
Hush my little babies...you need not ever cry
You were always wanted! I wish you didn't die
You'll be my sunshine in the daylight and the brightest star at night
Reach for God's hand and go to the light
I would rather endure the pain of losing you right now
Then the thought of you suffering through life...we'll get through somehow
I was blessed to have you briefly...even though I have to let you go
I wish I knew the reason but I guess I'll never know.

 

 

Sweet children whom we never really got to know,
It’s hard for us to let you go.
We waited and we wanted you.
We had so many dreams for you.
We think of smiles we'll never see.
We think of events that will never be.
There will be no first steps and no first teeth.
There is only a void and our own grief.
We planned to take you to places far and near.
We yearned to keep you safe and free from ...fear.
We hoped to show you much of your new world.
We wanted to teach you as your life unfurled.
It’s hard to understand why you, our baby, died.
We feel so numb right now, many tears we’ve cried.
We have so many questions and no answers seem to come.
We tried so hard to save you; nothing could be done.
God, we stand before you broken-hearted
and ask you to heal these lives that must be parted
from these little ones we can no longer hold,
who will always be a part of us, even when we're old.)
God, take these children in your loving arms.
No more can they suffer any harm.
Bless them always and bless us too.
Be with us and help us to make it through.

 

 

I won't say, "I know how you feel"- because I don't. I've lost parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and pets, but I've never lost a child. So how can I say I know how you feel?
 I won't say, "You'll get over it"- because you won't. Life will have to go on. The washing, cooking, cleaning, the common routine. The chores will take your mind off your child, but the hurt will still be there....
  I won't say, "Your other children will comfort you"-because they may not. Many mothers I've talked to say that after they have lost a child, they easily lose their temper ith their remaining children.
  I won't say, "Never mind, you're young enough to have another baby"- because that won't help. A new baby can not replace the child you lost. A new baby fills your hours, keeps you busy, gives you sleepless nights. But it will not replace the one you lost.
So what will I say?
I will say, "I am here. I care. Anytime. Anywhere." I will talk about your child. We'll laugh about the good memories. I won't mind how long you grieve. I won't tell you to pull yourself together.
  No, I don't know how you feel- but with sharing, perhaps I will learn a little of what you are going through.
  And perhaps you'll feel comfortable with me and find your burden has eased. Try me.

 

 

A Lament for My Babies
I never got to hear you laugh
you never saw me cry
didn't get a chance to say "Hello"
you never said "Goodbye"
I didn't think that I could feel
so sad, lost and forlorn.
I never knew God chose his Angels
before some of them were born.
Your lives were short yet special 
You were alive inside of me.
Every baby is an Angel
and every angel is divine
God needed some in heaven
He came down and took mine
And although we are not together
we're not really apart
for you'll always occupy a space
deep within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain
It's only some days now I cry.
When I wish I could have said "Hello"
and heard you say "Goodbye"

 

 

For just those few weeks
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks,
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks...
... when I lost you,
i lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations.
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks...
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks..
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I??
You were just those few weeks, my little one.
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life richer
and to give me a small glimpse of eternity.

 

 

I get a lot of strength from my friends that understand what we've been through. It's always easier to talk to them. I hope that this has lifted my blogger friends spirits especially those that really need it. I know that God is taking care of our angels as is my grandmother and cody's grandfather. Mommy & Daddy love all 4 of you so much!!!! Not a day goes by that you aren't on our mind. I pray that you miss us just as much!! I also pray you are watching over your future brothers and sisters!!! I know they won't share our blood but you are all equally a blessing to us and we can't wait to meet each and every one of you!!!!

Everyday is a new Day..

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've been nesting and spending time with family and working on new things for my business. There's not really much to update right now. Still no sign of a baby in our near future, but everyday is a new day. I wanted to share with my readers that aren't personal friends with my on my facebook, one of our newest "advertisements". (Made by Dawn Haney)

I am absolutely in love lol. I found something similar to this online but I wanted a little zebra as well. Cody hasn't decided on a design yet so I will post his in another post. The back of the shirt has our profile website web address.

When I posted this on my Facebook I was overwhelmed with how much support and how much people liked the shirt. We can't thank you enough for you support, love, help, and kind words!!! We appreciate you all more than you know!!!

Happy Birthday Baby

I'm writing this blog today because I'm not really sure how I'll be feeling on the actual day. But most of you know that we've lost all 4 of our angel babies. What a lot of you don't know is that Baby #4's due date is Feb. 9th 2012. I haven't really been thinking about it until the Cody's birthday the other day. It hit me really hard that we should have a 2 year old, 1 year old (baby number 2 we didn't know we were pregnant with until we lost him/her) and a newborn in a few days. Wow. I think about our babies constantly but this almost brought tears to my eyes. We are hoping that this will be the year we will finally physically be parents. I told Cody this time next year he will be enjoying his first birthday as a daddy!!! I have mixed emotions right now. I'm sad that none of our children are here with us, but at the same time I'm trying to be postive that we will find our baby soon. I can only imagine how I'm going to feel next week. Anyways, onto less emotional matters, the 3rd was Cody's 24th birthday. We were planning how we were going to celebrate when he got a phone call to go out to work!! He had to leave immediately. So he didn't have much of a birthday. That's the oilfield for you I guess. I've been nesting like crazy and planning a wedding (my sister in law's) so that has taken my mind off a lot of things. We've gotten a lot of networking done as well! It's to the point where I don't think there's much else I can do. So hopefully it will pay off soon!!! Thank you for all the continued prayers and kind words you have no idea how much we appreciate them!!!!

Update & Rant

I'm sorry that there isn't much I can update you all with. I've still been networking up a storm with all of our friends and family. So hopefully soon we will get the call we've been waiting for!!! We're still staying positive!!! Speaking of which my love's birthday is in 2 days!!!! I have been teasing that he is getting old but he's only going to be 24. I love giving him a hard time!

There have been quite a few tragedies in my hometown here lately and I want to give everyone my condolensences first. I pray for everyone affected by all the deaths and I pray things to get back to normal soon!!!

I want to take a second to rant about those that keep popping out kids and not taking care of them. I believe everyone knows someone like this. Everyday I hear a new story sometimes more than one. And it breaks my heart! I hate knowing that we can't bring our own child into this world but yet there are people that keep popping them out and neglecting them or harming them! I won't go much into this topic but I'm especially ticked off about this today! End of Rant! 

Back to networking and party planning I go!!!!


Thank you for the continued prayers and kind words!!! We love you all!!!!

Support

Lately we have recieved OVERWHELMING support!!! We have formally announced to all of our friends (As if it wasn't obvious already) that we are trying to adopt. We really do appreciate all the prayers!! We are so lucky to have each and every one of you!!!! We have our days when we are really discouraged and I know I can always count on each of you for your kind words of encouragement and prayers! We thank God for each of you!!! On another note, I have officially planned two Welcoming showers! One for each gender! I am very excited for that! For those that really know me they know I am OCD and Love planning!! I'm currently planning my sister in law's wedding right now lol. I am constantly making lists! I'm so ready to update everyone and let you all know that we finally have our little one! But until then please keep us in your prayers!

Common Question

We've been asked a lot about foster care and fostering to adopt. We are not against it by no means and a lot of people ask us because there are lots of children that need good homes. I want to say that we do plan to adopt an older child one day. But (and this may sound a little selfish) with everything we've been through we really want a baby. Which brings me to another question I get what age group are we looking at?  We would really like to adopt a newborn-3month old. The more we think about it the more we want to adopt a child that is already born. That way we don't have to deal with all the emotions so much. The "is she going to want him/her back?" during the days we have to wait for the parental rights to be terminated. We have to worry about that anyways but the more we think about it the easier it might be that way. I read a quote the other day that said "No one said that giving up a child would be easy, but imagine never knowing that child or having that experience. " - anonymous. It really spoke to me and I really think it's something anyone who is unsure about adoption should think about. It isn't easy giving up a child (I had no choice with mine as you know but I know it's different for someone actually giving their child up by choice) No one said it would be. But I'd like for you to imagine never knowing that child at all. Could you do it?  But onto more positive things, we have also been planning baby/welcoming showers (a little early I know) I think my nesting as been in overdrive this week! lol We are so ready to be parents!!! Sorry there's not much of an update here but believe me we cannot wait to announce that we are physically parents!!! Thank you to all who continue to pray for us! We have a new project in the works as well to help with the search and we can't wait to share it!!! So be on the lookout!!!

The Waiting Game

It's been a long journey. Each day seems to be flying by, but our arms are still empty. Today marks 6 months from our last miscarriage. It's been on my mind a lot today, but we've been so focused on networking lately it doesn't hurt as much. Don't get me wrong I still miss all of my angel babies but the pain eases with time. We are staying positive that 2012 will be the year we physically become parents. (WE are already parents in our eyes) We are thankful for each and everyone of you that pray for us and that are so kind! We are so lucky to have not encountered too much drama with our journey. Our journey still continues and we are continuing to pray!!! Sorry there's not much more I can update you with. It's all apart of the waiting game. And those that know me best know that I'm not a very patient person to begin with. So this has been a true test for us, me especially! But keep those prayers coming!! Thanks Everyone!!!

Obsessive?

Lately, it seems as though our lives have been consumed by adoption. And I guess it has. I guess you can say we've been a little obsessive. I belive we have a right to be. To us, adopting a child is priority number 1. So yes I guess thats all we really talk about. I guess it's better than dwelling on the past. Don't get me wrong, not a day goes by that I don't miss our 4 angel babies, but I think if I were to sit and pass blame om myself and others it wouldn't help anything, it wouldn't bring us closer to adding to our family. So I try to stay positive. We have a large support system of friends and family and I'm very grateful for them. I don't have much to say in this post. As far as I know of we aren't very close to adding to our family. That saddens me, but it's a new year and I am praying it will be FAR better than last year!!! Thank you to all my loyal readers, your support and kind words and comments mean so much to me!!! We appreciate each and every one of you!!!!

Christmas Photos 2011

This is hopefully our last Christmas as a family of two!! Our poor furbabies were sick so it's just us this year. Enjoy!!!