Sunday, October 27, 2013

It's been awhile...

I think the title says it all on this one. So much has happened since my last post here.  What was once a place to vent my frustrations about infertility and the adoption process will now be used for updates on our newest addition to our family! Yes you read that correctly! For those of you who aren't friends of mine on Facebook, you are very much out of the loop. As of May 11, 2013 we are the proud parents of a handsome baby boy! I will dedicate my next post to his birth story, but I wanted to update our blog with all of the newest updates. First off, his name is Carter, he has the face of an angel (I know how corny) he was born smiling. Not a minute goes by that he does smile. He is 5 1/2 months old and is a big, long and healthy active little man! But like I said there will be many other posts dedicated to him. Although you all know my dreams for a daughter god knew we needed a son first. I still have dreams about a beautiful baby girl, so maybe she will join our family soon! ;)

Saturday, January 12, 2013


It's no secret what my husband and I have been through. It's also no secret that I can handle a lot before I break down. That much is true except when it comes to pregnancy, miscarriage, my angel babies and adoption. I hold all of those things very near and dear to me. They are a huge part of my life and that will never change. Although a new piece has been added to my heart (Carter) he will never know the pain that we went through to get to him. Although he isn't here yet I love him as if I created him. That being said, it still gets hard to be around other pregnant women. I know many of you may think "why are you still upset when you are adopting?" Like I said I love him already but it will never be the same. And I can't stress enough that I couldn't love him more even if I created him. It's just different. I have maybe a handful of people I can truly call my friends. It's a tough job. I have mood swings I get angry sometimes. I cry for what seems like no reason at all. But there is always a reason. What people don't understand is I am always happy for new moms, I may not always show it, but trust me I am. Nothing will be as wonderful as holding Carter for the first time and him officially being apart of our family. That still doesn't make it easy to hear about how hard your baby is kicking or what hurts or what you are craving etc. My husband will say its like walking on eggshells around me sometimes. He's right. Although my heart will never be completely healed it is slowly mending thanks to the beautiful blessing god and our birthmom are giving us. I'm glad for the true friends that have stuck by my side throughout this journey. There's so much more good times to come.